Those First Few Steps
by Feifeltower
Summary: The hardest staircase to climb is the one that leads to a goodbye. Even though you know that they'll forever be in your heart.


**A/N: I've always heard many people say that 'letting go' is hard. Especially my own mother.**

 **P.S. All characters belong to Michael Buckley, author of The Sisters Grimm.**

* * *

 _"Sometimes love means letting go when you want to hold on tighter."_

 _Melissa Marr_

* * *

 _Papers, papers, papers..._ Sabrina rubbed her temples with her thumbs, attempting to numb the pain that was causing her whole body to ache with slight agony. Even the tiniest sounds, like the clinking of china in front of her, was driving her insane and wracking, albeit less dramatic, her body unforgivingly.

While she went through all the documents and files and groaning at every throb of her head, her daughter scraped the edge of a metal fork around the plate, where the peas and corn were unfinished. _Squeak, squeak..._ the scraping made a high-pitched sound.

 _Squeak!_

Sabrina bit her bottom lip, trying to focus on the texts and not the pain.

 _Squeak! Squeak!_

Sabrina dropped her head into her hands with her elbows propped up on the table. "Allie. _Please, don't play with your utensils_."

With a gentle clang, the fork was placed softly onto the plate. Sabrina was a little surprised at how obedient she was being and how well she was taking orders. But the sharp pain in her head returned and all her shock went away as she clenched her fists until the pain resided.

"Mum?"

Without looking up, Sabrina replied with a muttering "mm-hmm".

A deep breath and then, "I was wondering if I could go to—"

Before Sabrina could register what her eldest daughter was coming to ask, her youngest skipped down the stairs hauling in a garment bag.

" _Mum!_ Look what I found in Alligator's wardrobe!" Emma's face looked as if it couldn't contain the big mischievous smile anymore. "It's _soooo_ short and even I could see so much of my skin... when I tried... it on."

Sabrina could just make out what her daughter had said as Alison chased her sister around the table, screaming and yelling about what a snoopy and idiotic girl Emma was.

The scampering girls caused such a blur and Sabrina couldn't take the noise. Her head had had quite enough with the ridiculous chaos in the dining room and she snapped.

"Girls, that is enough!" Her booming voice startled the girls and they froze. Alison's face was still raging. "I want both of you to go to your rooms and I do not want you two to come down until this entire mess is sorted. Understand?"

The girls murmured.

" _Understand?_ "

"Yes." They both replied and hurried up the stairs, both hissing at each other, probably in the midst of blaming one another for their mother's frustration.

Sabrina sighed deeply and slumped back into the chair. The pain was worse and all she wanted was peace. She couldn't even think about her daughters straight and she couldn't continue her work.

After shoving the papers out of her reach, she tucked her chair in properly, rested her elbows on the table and rubbed her forehead with her two palms.

Peace.

Before keys started rattling at the front door and a man came strolling in (well, more like stomping), throwing his suitcase onto the couch. His face was stormy as he marched into the kitchen, wind-blown hair and all, and munched on two cookies.

He made his way to the dining room, where Sabrina was helplessly in discomfort, and stood behind his wife's chair. He fingered her hair and didn't notice anything strange about Sabrina as he growled on.

"That idiot soldier didn't even think to let me have the first pick! I mean, yes, everybody loves a chicken and mayo sandwich, but I am the _king_! Who does he think I am! Give me a club 'cause I'm gonna have a word with that pathetic excuse for a soldier! I still cannot co—" A yelp came out of him when Sabrina kicked him hard in the shin with her heel. His voice came out harsh when he said "what?!" as if his verbal rampage had left traces.

Sabrina tapped her head softly. "Body. Ache. Quiet."

His eyes softened slightly but his eyebrows furrowed with confusion. "You alright? You look terrible. Starting to look like someone I know... oh, that's right, Baba Yaga!"

A kick in the shin again.

"Uhh, more beautiful than her, of course, but you look a little sick. Need to barf? I can bring the toilet to you if you can't walk there. It might actually look nice on our table."

" _Shut up_." Sabrina sighed, wondering when he would stop talking. Then she realised who was talking. Of course, it was _Puck_. He could blabber nonstop without drying his throat.

But, it seemed as though he had gotten the message and his mouth stayed shut as he moved Sabrina's chair out slightly, causing her to groan, and pushed her closer to the edge of it. Sabrina couldn't even question his aim as she rubbed her head harder. Puck sat in the space behind her, with his legs on either side of the chair.

And he began to massage her. He started at her shoulders and neck. His gentle, yet firm, rubs made her sigh with pleasure. If Puck would do this for an hour or so Sabrina was sure she would be successfully healed.

"Where does it hurt?" He said in an unusually soft voice. He began stroking her arms.

Sabrina let out a soft snort, though she was smiling. "Everywhere."

Puck smirked. " _Everywhere?_ "

Sabrina nodded, so everywhere he went.

Sabrina guessed that, because Puck was her partner, she allowed him to massage places (at most, her legs) that would make her flip if other men had done it.

The entire thing was pure bliss.

* * *

 _"Mum? I was wondering if I could go to—"_

 _What was she going to ask?_ Sabrina thought. Then she remembered the dress Emma had held up and Sabrina took a wild guess. She was almost certain it was correct.

Padding up to Alison's room, she wondered what she was going to say to her.

Sabrina found her on her bed, tapping expertly on her phone. Alison's head snapped up when she heard the door creak open. The teenager followed her mum with her eyes as Sabrina made her way to the bed and placed herself next to her daughter.

The silence stretched on for a minute or so until Alison broke it.

"So, can I?" she asked, clutching her phone. "Or are you going to force me to actually ask you again?"

"Ask?" Sabrina lifted an eyebrow.

Alison snorted. "Mum, I'm pretty sure you should've gotten it by now. You know, _Emma..._ "

Sabrina sighed and positioned herself better. "I know, I know. It's about a date, isn't it?"

Alison nodded.

Sabrina searched her face. "With Parker?"

Another nod.

Sabrina looked down at her hands. "Allie, I don't think it's a good idea."

Her daughter's face dropped. "What? You don't trust Parker?"

Sabrina shook her head, glad that Puck had made her headache subside. "No, it's nothing to do with who you're going with."

Alison scrunched her nose. "So it's me you don't trust."

"No, Allie," Sabrina said firmly. "I just think you're too young—"

"Mum, I'm fifteen!"

"—to be dating."

Alison shot her a look that represented all kinds of rude. "Some of my classmates have had boyfriends since year five!"

"Your father and I only started dating when I was twenty-five!"

Alison abruptly stood up. "Yeah, well, didn't you date another guy before that? That _Brad_ guy? How old were you when you started dating _him_?"

"Twenty-one."

Alison's arms flailed angrily. "Who cares! This is _my_ life! Not yours!"

"I understand that, sweetheart." Sabrina took a deep breath and made sure it all came out right. "Listen to me. I'm your mother. I've always been with you and taken care of you since you were born."

Alison slapped her hand that was holding her phone to her forehead and Sabrina thought she heard a tiny crack. "Oh, are you really going to give me that dumb mum speech? The one that says 'I am doing this because I love you'?"

Sabrina calmed herself down. "I was going to say that I know you so well, Allie. I know when you're ready to date."

" _I_ know myself better than anyone, _including_ you!" Alison yelled and Sabrina resisted the urge to flinch. "You haven't even given me a proper answer!"

After staring at her daughter for five solid seconds, she inhaled and exhaled. Without a wavering glance, Sabrina said, "If you want my answer now, I'm going to have to say 'no'."

She exited the room, leaving a fuming Alison. As Sabrina walked to her bedroom, Emma went into her sister's.

Sabrina could just hear her speak.

"Al, dad told me to give this back—"

Alison's scream was much clearer. " _Stay out of my room, you stupid witch! I hate it when you snoop!_ "

Sabrina could hear Emma's footsteps as she speed-walked back to her own room, letting out an indignant sound Sabrina had been to sad to make.

* * *

Sabrina had just finished brushing her teeth and was in the middle of drying her face with a towel when Puck appeared in the doorway. His expression was nonchalant, but a few places were etched with concern.

"I heard yelling. I hope Baba Yaga wasn't up there. I really need to meet up with her again." He moved towards the sink and picked up his toothbrush, getting ready to clean his teeth; a habit he had gotten used to years ago.

Sabrina swallowed. "It was Alison. She asked if she could go on a date."

Puck briefly looked up at her reflection in the mirror before shoving the brush in his mouth. "I take it you said 'no'?"

Sabrina placed the lid down onto the toilet and sat on it. "What was I supposed to say?"

Puck shrugged, spitting foam out into the sink. "'Yes'?"

Sabrina shot him an exasperated look. "And make her think that I will agree to everything she wants?"

Puck shot back a defensive look. "I'm just saying that if you trust her judgement, and her date's, you shouldn't have any problem allowing her to go."

"Since when do you give good advice?" Sabrina looked at him incredulously.

"Well, do you trust her judgement, or not?"

Sabrina widened her eyes. "Puck, what is this? Why are you acting so... sage?"

Puck washed his mouth and his toothbrush and wiped his face with the towel Sabrina had used before. When his face could be seen again, a smirk came along with it. "I just wanted to get reaction out of you. Ha!"

Sabrina sighed, relieved that Puck was kidnapped by some psychopath and replaced with some goody two shoes. Then she furrowed her eyebrows at him and smiled. "But, you do realise that what you said sounded like something someone _wise_ would say?"

Puck took off his t-shirt with one sweep and cast her an arrogant grin. "That is because I _am_ wise, sweetheart. I thought you had figured that out long ago."

Sabrina shook her head, though she was smiling at his cockiness. "Maybe you should try talking to her."

Puck snorted as he went into their bedroom and threw his shirt onto one of the bedposts. Sabrina wasn't far behind as he said, "Are you kidding? _You're_ the love doctor in here."

Sabrina watched as he took off his jeans and pulled on his boxers. "So you're not going to say anything else? Not even one petty insult?"

Puck snickered as he pushed the blanket out of his side of the bed. "Well, I would like to have a jab at the boy she's going out with. Who's it anyways?"

"Parker."

Puck jerked his head up. Sabrina could see his eyes filled with disbelief.

" _Parker_?" he said loudly. " _Parker_ , as in that boy who always comes to our house to study? That boy with the thick-rimmed glasses who always does his top button?"

"Uh-huh. He's also that boy who you said is way cooler than any of the other males in her class," Sabrina pointed out.

Puck furrowed his eyebrows and scowled. "Well, yeah, but I didn't think he'd have the guts to ask Allie out. He's too afraid to ask to go home!"

Sabrina lifted her eyebrows. "I'm pretty sure he _wants_ to stay."

Puck snorted, then sighed. "You know, you go handle it. I'm through with all this love stuff. Way too difficult."

"And you would know because...?"

Puck looked at her for a few moments before striding up her and snaking his arm around her waist. "Well, if you must know, I've been through it. Some parts are like hell, to be honest. But most are quite pleasurable."

Sabrina's toes tingled and she felt as if she was at the age of nineteen again. "Oh yeah?"

Puck gave her a challenging look. "Do you want me to demonstrate one of them?"

Before she could answer, Puck bent down and simply kissed her. She couldn't think for a while, but when her mind finally drifted off to Alison, she thought about how her daughter might be feeling. She wondered if Alison's feelings were something like the emotions Sabrina was going through at that moment.

Sabrina and Puck had known each other since she was eleven and he was... a little older. Alison had met Parker when she was in kindergarten and they've been close friends ever since. Maybe it didn't even have to do with the duration of their friendship was, but Sabrina could finally say that it _is_ Alison's life and that her choices are important too.

But, of course, a mother-daughter conversation was required.

* * *

The second time Sabrina had went into Alison's room that day was rather different. Instead of lying on the bed texting, Alison was on the floor _packing_.

She was stuffing her favourite sweater into a suitcase when her phone buzzed. She looked at the screen, typed something in, then resumed her packing.

Sabrina watched her daughter for moments before she let herself in and stood near Alison.

Alison didn't even raise her head.

Sabrina watched and watched and watched before "Allie?".

The girl still didn't look up. "I'm going to sleep over at Jess' house for the rest of the summer holiday. Maybe in first term as well."

Sabrina took a deep breath, something she had been doing a lot of that day. "Okay. I understand."

Alison froze for a split second before rolling up her socks.

Sabrina knelt down beside her daughter, feelings overwhelming her. "Can I talk to you first?"

Alison finally met her mother's eyes with an icy glare. "You can't stop me, mum. I've made up my mind. It's my life."

Sabrina nodded. "I wasn't going to stop you." She inhaled and exhaled. "I just want to tell you that I'll always have your back."

Alison snorted.

"And that you can go on your date with Parker."

This caught Alison's attention. She looked at her mum suspiciously. Sabrina felt ready to be embraced and hit by a chorus of _thank-you_ s, but her heart deflated as Alison waved it all off. "Whatever. I don't care anymore. I don't want your pity. You're letting me now because you feel guilty, don't you?"

Sabrina bit her lip. Her daughter's words had stung a little. If it had come from anyone else it wouldn't have. "No. I'm letting you go because," she breathed through her nose, "I trust your judgement."

Alison stared at her mum.

"I also trust Parker. I trust that you two won't do anything I will disapprove. I trust that your decisions will be wise ones."

Alison kept staring with, Sabrina thought with a little relief, less anger.

"I trust you. I trust you to be yourself. Make sure you're not going on this date just because everybody else is doing it. I trust that you'll figure out that answer for yourself."

Silence rested between them. It was agony, the pain equal to the one she felt when her headache made her body wrack. She waited and waited for a response, wondering whether it might be a negative one and hoping that this will have a positive outcome.

Then the pain dissolved, like the time after Puck had massaged her, when Alison broke into a smile. A simple smile that was so contagious. Sabrina smiled back and couldn't contain the tears. She didn't bring her hand up to wipe them.

"Was that a good mum talk?" Sabrina asked, reflecting back onto Alison's previous words in their previous fight. A fight that seemed like long ago. A fight that was now shoved into the past.

Alison laughed softly as a single tear rolled down her cheek. "Much better that the 'I am doing this because I love you' one."

Sabrina joined her laughter and new tears kept flowing down. But, she knew that the tears' existence wasn't because of her relief, not really. It was because of something she was doing; something she had thought about when Alison was born. She was such a tiny adorable baby, and the years had passed so quickly. It was something her own mother used to always say, though Sabrina could never feel it until she actually experienced it. It was one of the most difficult factors of parenthood, the one that eventually leads to a goodbye.

She was letting go.

"Mum." Alison was the one who took her mother's hands into her own, which warmed Sabrina's heart to the centre. "You still have three more years to boss me around. And, even the years after those, I'll still be with you— literally, I mean. I'll be staying in this house. Not the 'I'll be with you in your heart' kind of thing. Dad didn't care for those... but even when I move out, I'll never leave you. Don't tell dad I said that."

Emotions overwhelmed Sabrina and she squeezed Alison's hands tighter. "You are so mature, Allie. You'll grow up to be a wonderful lady. Parker will see that. He probably already has."

Alison's smile disappeared and she drew her hands out from her mother's. "You trust my judgement?"

Without hesitation, Sabrina nodded firmly. "You bet I do." And she meant it.

"Even after I planned on moving out?" Alison's gaze drifted towards the half-packed luggage. "Without your permission?"

Sabrina drew a breath in. "I believe that I didn't fully respect your opinions and truly think the whole thing over. I didn't even spend a minute thinking it through, for Pete's sake!" All humour went away and all seriousness came forth. "That caused such a reaction out of you, didn't it?"

Alison nodded slowly.

A smile crept onto Sabrina's face. "But, we do need to have a discussion about ways to handle disappointment. But not today. You've probably had enough of mum talks for tonight, don't you think?"

Alison widened her eyes and smiled. And nodded.

Sabrina shook her head. "I thought so." She stood up and looked at her daughter. Her firstborn. Her child. Her teenager. "Get some sleep. Leave the suitcase for tomorrow. And I'll be seeing you leave with Parker... when?"

"This Friday. Evening."

Sabrina walked over to the door. "Alright. Make sure you're not home too late. Oh, and Allie?"

Alison turned her head towards her mum. "Mm-hmm?"

Sabrina grimaced. "Just take this as a little motherly advice. Pick something else to wear. That dress is a little scandalous. Not very _you_."

Alison snorted, but no resentment was behind it anymore. "I was thinking the same thing. Thanks, mum."

Sabrina walked out of the room and put her hand onto the doorknob. "G'night, Allie." Then she walked over to her own room, leaving behind her sleeping daughter.

* * *

Puck was already in bed, snoring softly. Sabrina hopped in beside him, causing a small bounce.

Puck, not being much of a deep sleeper, turned his head around, groaning when he spotted Sabrina. "Thought you were Baba Yaga... must've been dreaming about her."

Sabrina snorted, getting herself into a comfortable position. "You've been talking a lot about her recently. Haven't been cheating on me, have you?"

"With Baba Yaga?" Puck said. " _Puhh-lease_. If I was cheating with her, I'd be making her unrighteous. She has to stay true to her own lover. Don't want to destroy her reputation."

"Oh, she has a _lover_ now?" Sabrina smacked her pillow multiple times before sinking her head into it with comfort. Finally, she could be able to relax while having satisfaction of what she's achieved.

"Well, who knows? I've personally thought it was Grendel, but some people believe it's the Beast. Uhh, _hello_? Beast already has a wife. Now who's the one who's cheating, huh?"

"Night, Puck."

Puck twisted his whole body to face her. He drew his eyebrows together. "You're already tired? It's only... what?— ten o'clock."

Sabrina inhaled the scent of their bedroom and exhaled all her parenting problems. "I'd just like to have a good night's sleep after a good day." Because it had been a good day. Because she made herself an objective to be a better mother. A better mother who will listen to her daughters' problems and give them advice that will lead them to a better future... even if it means saying goodbye. Letting go was the hardest. When Sabrina remembered that dress while walking to Alison's room, she knew that she was about to take her very first step of letting go. She knew it wasn't going to get any easier— it may get even harder. But she still had a long way to go with her daughters and she desired to make every moment last. And when the time comes, she would be strong and ready. She expected to fall a few times, but she was determined to get up every single time. When her girls make their own decisions, it was a part of letting go as well. So when they're older, they'll be making every decision for themselves— getting married, having babies, growing old if they so wished to. And Sabrina will be there for them, in their hearts and them in hers (and feeling glad that Puck's not a mind-reader).

Puck dragged himself closer to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Goodnight, Stinkpot." He rested his head against her shoulder, finally giving the advantage of being higher to Sabrina as she wrapped her own arm around the top of his head and stroked his blond hair as she fell into her sleep.

And those steps of letting go will never go down— always up. Because if she wants to be the best mother for her daughters, she will have to reach the top of the staircase.

* * *

 **A/N: I hope you've enjoyed this oneshot. I'd appreciate it if you would write a review and don't be afraid to send any feedback! I'll be happy to improve my writing :) Thanks again!**

 **~Feifeltower**


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